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Starry Eyed and Conflicted

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

It is a peaceful starry night on the beach. Light from moon and cabin lamps are creating amber reflections over wet stones and grains of sand as you walk hand in hand with your partner breathing in the majestic smells and scenery. You are wide open and loving all that is arriving. A happy tear flows down your cheek as you try to resist showing how happy you are. You are experiencing huge moments of gracious ease and flow whilst feeling safe, seen, and the moment and all its possibilities feel ineffable. Joyful moments spontaneously pulse in and out and have the two of you experiencing more grace and love than you thought was possible.

Suddenly all this enchantment comes to a halt when something triggers you. What was magnificent, now shifts and erupts into inner conflict. Your soulmate is now the perpetrator of something that has you feeling internally victimized. You can't resist sharing your emotion and although the issue feels enormous to you, your partner experiences it as small and confusing. And it grows because your victim says you are unseen, unloved and alone.

The dream you have of your partner shifts, and you start to paste story over story onto this lover. Stories that fit old stories. Stories that are supported by external reinforcers. Many many layers. And what you don’t realize here is that between and under the moments of joy, you’ve been blindly working and looking for ways to trip your partner into reinforcing your victim state. Why? Because it is common, has familiarity and brings with it an odd comfort of home. Problem here is that you are not willing to see your common conditioning as a hostage that wants to be free. Until now you've been unconsciously feeding the hostage. Simultaneously you yearn to be in love and free.

Your wounds are urging you to see them consciously. They seek and ask you to allow your partner to help you release them! This is why you keep looking and reinforcing your path to be the victim. A huge opportunity is here to see how you’ve been an unconscious beggar. No matter who you are with, this play will flow in the same circuit repeatedly until you’ve allowed yourself the awareness to release and love unconditionally.

When you are triggered into victim by what you falsely consider truth, you’ll never fully experience unconditional loving from another. So, now that you are aware, do you allow yourself to be inspired by the opportunity to stay in love? Do you drop old patterns and surrender to the ineffable? Can you see how the wounded you has been reaching for its mother or father, and let it know all will be ok? Do you take responsibility and let your mate know that you’ve just experienced an old shadow show up expressing as a victim? Do you allow the invitation to arrive in its strength and the power of your dream? Do you see how this new course of action is compassion for yourself? Do you surrender to Love? Do you receive Love as you would breath?

Inspiration – what a sparkly place!

Surrender – what a blissful place!

Invitation – What a precarious point!

Impulse - what a powerful option!

What does the moment look like when Inspiration triggers Surrender?

What does the moment look like when Surrender triggers Invitation?

What does the moment look like when Invitation triggers Impulse?



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